"Don’t change – stay right where you are"!
Nobody said change was easy. Change is hard It is uncomfortable and risky.That is why most of us don’t change until change is forced on us.
We don’t change; even when making a change could make a huge and positive difference for us and those about us.
Most of us have a mindset that favours staying put right where we are – a “fixed” mindset. And fixed mindsets lack resilience.
Standing still and staying where we are, can present far more danger and risk in the long term than making a change.
Changing that mindset
So how do you develop a resilient mindset? You need to learn to challenge your own thinking.Your fixed mindset will chatter away in your head, if you let it.
It will fill your head with negativity and erode your confidence.
That nasty fixed mindset will tell you that even if you wanted to change, you can’t do it!
You’re not bright enough! You're not strong enough! You don’t have the brains or the talent!
This time you are going to answer back.
“Well I’m certainly bright enough – if I see the need for change, I’m bright enough to do it.I can learn and I can find people who can advise me. I can learn!”
Your fixed mindset will probably answer – “But what happens if and when you fail?
So here is your defence. “Everyone fails sometimes. But I’ll do it well and I’ll manage the risks – so I’ve got every chance of success”
“But” says your fixed mindset, “if you don’t make the change, you can’t fail.” “No, but, if I don’t try, I’ve failed already!
Now your fixed mindset sneers and becomes cunning. “Oh so it is going to be easy for you then!”
You smile wryly. “No it isn’t going to be easy. Nothing worth having comes easy. I’m going to do it”
Back into the shadows!
If you keep beating it back, at some point your fixed mindset will slink away into the shadows. It won’t be dead.It may emerge occasionally when you are feeling tired or frustrated. But you have the upper hand now. You know you have to find the energy to take up your sword and beat it back into the shadows again.
With practice you can learn to think positively and confidently about your change.
You will develop a resilient mindset.
You can do it! You can make the change you desire – it is time to start believing. Reach for your your sword and begin practicing.
Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Writer.
She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those;
- looking for work
- looking for promotion or newly promoted
- moving between Public and Private Sectors
- facing redundancy
- moving into retirement
- wanting to do a mid-life review
Related articles
- Becoming A Leader Today - What to give up! (wisewolftalking.com)
- Are you a resilient leader? (wisewolftalking.com)
- Business: Change Your Performance Mindset (psychologytoday.com)
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