Most of us loose confidence when we lose a job. It’s not just about losing the income but it affects your image of yourself! Many of us value ourselves based on our work. For many of us work is the place where we spend the most of our waking life. It’s often where we find our friends and make our major achievements. So when we lose a job we feel we lose part of ourselves and we grieve for it.
But you can get over it – just like any grief. You are much more than your job and your real friends and family value you for much more than your salary even when they are dependent upon it. Now is the time to go to work on anew project and that new is very special because it is you!
Here are some points for you to consider!
Understand this happened
If you have been made redundant then remember it’s not personal – you were just unlucky! Plus it makes you part of a very large and growing club.
If you lost your job for other reasons then make sure you understand why and learn from it! Now is the time to change something and make sure it doesn’t happen again.
In both situations, now is about going forward, not dwelling on the past.
Money Worries
You will feel bad about the loss of income. But there is help!
Make it a project to find out all the sources of financial support available to you. Make it a project and take time to understand what you can get, from where. Then get out there and get it! Talk to your bank about what has happened and get their advice. Go to you local Citizens Advice Bureau and find out about benefits. Use the net - here is somewhere to start
Feeling Alone
You have lost the contacts you had at work. So now us the time to work on your own support network! Get out your old address book; look up your email contacts and those on your mobile phone. Find people on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Friends Reunited etc. Pick up the contacts and find out what people are doing. It will give you company but also it might just give you a lead to the next job. Meet up – have a coffee with them if you can’t afford lunch – many people prefer that these days anyway. Tell them you are interested in new opportunities – don’t dwell on why you lost the last job – that is in the past now!
Lifestyle Changes
Living with less money may mean changes in lifestyle for all the family. Not so many meals out and subscriptions to clubs etc. Make the changes carefully, particularly if they affect your children – plan and prioritize just like you would at work. Hopefully it’s not going to be for very long. If you can’t eat out then become more creative about eating at home. Now is the time for long country walks perhaps rather than paying for theme parks. There are lots of free events around if you look for them – again use the involuntary spare time to find them.
Self Blame
We all do it but it doesn’t actually get us anywhere. Blaming ourselves doesn’t change the past and it doesn't take us one step forward. But you can change the future .Leave the past to itself – it’s only useful if you can use it to learn from. If you lost you job because you lacked a skill, then it’s worth working on gaining it. Otherwise leave it alone and make the future your project. Get up each day determined to go one step forward even if it is only working on your exercise plan.
Last but not least
Don’t be hard on your self. You are one amongst thousands. You may not have a job but my word do you have a project and that is you.
In terms of regaining you overall confidence - here is a website that can help; Recover Your Balance. Ann Lewis's website supports you to recover emotionally so that loss of confidence is less likely to hamper your ability to find a new job. You will also find her book very valuable 'Recover Your Balance: How To Bounce Back From Bad Times at Work'
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