Building a relationship is a learning process

Building a relationship is a learning process. 

I've been thinking about relationships and how they are all about learning. Building a relationship is a learning

process. 

You learn about yourself in the relationship and you learn about the other person. And most of that learning is done by listening. That means listening to the other person but also listening to yourself and your own heart, and your head reflecting your own values. And you must try to be very honest. 

In any good relationship it is about being true to yourself, as well as being true to someone else. And it is not making promises you know in your heart, you may not keep, Promising things that in the moment feel ok.

Even if you think you know yourself very well, you will change as you learn this other person, if the relationship lasts. You'll  be influenced by who they are, what they believe and how they behave.

Learning who they are can be quite a challenge. What you learn, if you listen honestly, can make you question yourself and your own values. 

Learning who they are with an open mind can be  quite difficult. This is because you will bring to it all your hopes and expectations of the other person and the relationship. And this is further complicated if there's a strong attraction between you.

It is all too is easy to give into the attraction.  You, yourself, and the other person may believe the relationship is much deeper than it is really.  You make promises that later you cannot meet.

Physical attraction is great. Let's face it, for many, it is what makes the world go round. But don't mistake a relationship built mainly on attraction, an infatuation, for anything else. Listen to the person, try to learn them. And then test what you learn against what both your heart and your head, knowing your own values, tell you. And have the courage to act on what you hear.

Wendy Mason  Smith is a  Personal Coach and Writer helping people feel happier. If you would like help with your career or your life away from work, you can book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link