Your Happiness Factor

10 Ways Over-Thinking Destroys Your Happiness  A post from Peggy Nolan, The Self-Care Queen and Chief Executive Stepmom at  The Stepmom's Toolbox ,  Have you ever been stuck over-thinking something that happened or something you think will happen only to get your knickers in a bunch? I know I have! This over-thinking thing keeps most of us stuck. It keeps us rooted in fear, uncertainty, and doubt. It's a major contributor to the FUD factor and a huge reason why most people can't find their happy. I don't know about you, but my over-thinking habit robbed me of my own happiness and joy. If I could put my finger on it, I'd say the trigger for breaking up with this soul-sucking, life-leeching habit over 10 years ago was when I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had headaches, IBS, and that God awful pit in my stomach that never seemed to go away. To make matters worse, I was in a toxic relationship (even though I didn't know i

   We all have negative thoughts sometimes.   These dark thoughts (known as automatic negative thoughts) just come into our heads and, most of the time, we can just throw them off. At other times they just overwhelm us.  This is so when we are depressed. But sadly these negative thoughts can actually make us depressed.  When we get into the habit of constantly chastising ourselves and telling ourselves we are no good and we are worthless, the feelings we have in response can send us spiralling down.   These thoughts seem to feed upon each other, so deeper and deeper we go!   Thoughts like these can send us spiralling down into depression. This concept is the guiding principle behind cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), a type of psychotherapy which was developed by Aaron T. Beck in the 1960s If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it's true!  Then our feelings start to match what we think about ourselves. How do we raise ourselves back up a

Feeling anger or having some become angry with us makes us feel unhappy! Anger usually arises because you believe someone has acted against you!   It needn’t be real – you just need to believe it happened! It comes about in three main ways; Some one or some thing gets in the way and stops you achieving a goal Someone or some organisation breaks your personal rules.  For example, ‘I’ve worked for them for years and now they want to get rid of me!’ Your self esteemed feels threatened You feel angry and you may lash out verbally or physically.   Or you may displace your aggression and take it out on someone else.  Instead of attacking you may withdraw – you storm out of the room! Or you may attack indirectly – for example, subverting or spreading rumours – a passive aggressive response. But prolonged anger damages you mentally and physically! You may believe that letting it out is the best way to deal with it.  But these outbursts -  ‘cathartic’ expressions of anger - reinforce your a